You can't find me

I sort of hiding up myself at home recently. Even in my blog (well actually that's because of laziness).

Today, finally, i 'dragged' myself to the clinic. Skin specialist clinic. I was having swelling, reddish, dry and itchy lips and area around lips for the past few weeks. I didn't pay much attention to it at first, because i had bad skin since childhood. But, my lips just won't heal no matter how much Vaseline i applied. I just thought Vaseline will heal everything. But then it got worst, my lips became so itchy and it swell sometimes (even if i don't scratch it).

I suspected myself having allergic to my new cleanser, or allergic to the blackheads lotion i just started using recently, or seafood allergic.

And then i also have rashes in folds of arms and legs and neck quite frequent since young. It will be itchy especially when the whether is hot which makes me sweat.

It turn out that i wasn't having allergic to any of these i mentined. The doctor said i had eczema (believe me, this word was alien to me until today). Well, Eczema is a chronic skin disorder that involves scaly and itchy rashes, as well as blistering, weeping, or peeling of the skin.

I came back and started google about eczema. I don't think you want to see those eczema pictures. Because those pictures are gross (just google it yourself la if you want to see).

So, the doctor also asked me if i had habit of lips licking. Because it might be one of the reason why i am having this lips problem. Funny right? I thought everybody will lick their lips especially when you feel your lips is dry. I learnt something new today that, licking lips is bad, because i will alter the pH of your saliva, which is not good according to the doctor. But it's hard not to lick your lips, somehow i still lick my lips now unconsciously, although i have been told and i tried not to. It's like a reflex action!

I had been prescripted a few types of medicines. Creams and tablets to applied for and to eat to prevent itchiness.

I hope it will heal ASAP! Seriously not in the mood to take any pictures (so don't ask me to show you how i look now please) and believe it or not, i feel so shameful to look at people too. I became totally in 'low self-esteem' state now, because today when i went for lunch and when i order my meal, the Indonesian maid stared at me as if i am a freak (although i don't know why she was staring at me), but i somehow i get it and i feel so ugly!! I quickly tell her my order and buried my head down!!

I hope i won't get any invitation to go out for now, maybe a week or two. I will either refuse to step out of my house or maybe i will wear a mask if i am too desperate. :(